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Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore my daughters’ Jewish Day School. The teachers are amazing, I love the other families, and my girls are learning everything from engineering to Israeli dance.

There’s just one problem. They’re also learning Hebrew.

I mean, really learning Hebrew. And not just the songs (if I have to listen to Adon Olam one more time I might lose my mind), but every week they’re getting better at writing, reading, understanding, and speaking Hebrew. On Monday, my big girl’s first grade class performed their annual Bereshit play. Fortunately, I am familiar with the creation story, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a clue what was going on—it was almost entirely in Hebrew.

I can deal with not being able to read the bulletin boards on the wall at school, and I can handle not following along with the school play. What I can’t handle is not understanding my daughters when they’re talking to each other.

My children are on the verge of having their own secret language that I can’t speak.

THIS IS A CRISIS, PEOPLE.

You can read the rest of this post for The Jewish Mother Project over on Kveller.com.