“Within a few hours my cervix had dilated enough for the midwife to break my water. The towels and pads they spread out were useless; nothing short of a wading pool would have contained the tsunami that splashed forth. I don’t remember for certain, but I’m sure at least more than one person made some crack about needing an ark. Everyone’s a comedian when it’s someone else’s amniotic fluid all over the floor.”

The whole story of my first daughter’s birth is over at Kveller.com.